Shadow of The Past
by LucyGoose
Summary: [Complete] Lorelai is forced to admit something that will drastically change her relationships with Luke, Rory, Christopher, and her parents.
1. Chapter 1

Luke doesn't pay any attention when the door to the diner opens. He's been in this business for almost ten years now, and he's used to the sounds that the door makes, the soft creaks the hinges make every time it opens and closes. He's used to Kirk coming in every couple of hours and asking for a glass of milk and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or some other really childish thing, and to Taylor coming in every once in awhile for no apparent reason, he's just wanting to annoy the hell out of him. There's the quiet lull takes place in the mid-afternoon, after the lunch crowd and before everyone gets out of school. Hell, he's practically memorized Lorelai's schedule- 8:15 (a cup of coffee and a muffin, usually to go, because she's almost always running late), 12:30 (a cheeseburger and fries, which she eats there, unless the inn is really busy), 5:00 when she gets off work (where she just orders a cup of coffee and stays to chat- she'll be back in an hour or so for dinner). So he's surprised (and a little confused) when she comes in at 2:30 in the afternoon. He doesn't look up, even. (Though he would never admit this to Lorelai, he starts watching for her about fifteen minutes before she usually comes in. That's also when he makes sure the doughnut plate is full, and that there's a fresh pot of coffee ready for her.) When he looks up, concerned, a few moments later, it's because she's plopped down on the stool in front of him (he can't hide the fact that he loves that she sits at the counter now) and sighs. It's not one of those big dramatic sighs that she does when she wants to get his attention, it's soft, barely perceptible, and she seems to want the opposite effect. When he looks at her, he sees that she's come in for comfort from him.

"Rough day at the inn?" he asks, even though he can tell that it's something bigger than that that's bothering her. He gives her a cup of coffee because he knows that it will help.

She sighs again. "My mother called six times today already," she says, shrugging it off like it's nothing. He can see, though. He can see what she really feels inside. She looks up at him again and their eyes meet and she's so glad that she finally has someone who will listen, finally there's someone that understands. She could never tell Rory all the gory details, it was always the PG-13 version, but now with Luke, she can just tell him everything. "She wants to come over and get some of Rory's books and things," Lorelai continues, her voice so quiet that Luke almost has to strain his ears to hear her. "And I told her, I said Rory can come and get her things herself,"

Luke sees the pain in her eyes, even though Rory's been living with Emily and Richard for a few months now, the wound is still so new, and every time Rory is mentioned, he can see Lorelai fighting off tears, he can practically feel her heart breaking. "I bet she wasn't happy to hear that," he says softly, to keep the conversation going, knowing that if she didn't get it all out now, it would haunt her for a while.

Lorelai laughs this bitter laugh that's almost painful for Luke to hear. "Yeah, she thinks I'm being immature and can't respect my daughter's wishes, but let's just think about that for a second, shall we? Hmm, who else do I know that doesn't respect her daughter's wishes? God, I swear," Lorelai shakes her head and Luke sees the tears glistening on her eyelashes as the sunlight hits them. "She doesn't even hear herself sometimes," she takes a sip of coffee to calm herself down and quickly continues. "I mean, I guess I should be looking at the bright side, that I only have to deal with her every once in awhile now because of this whole thing, instead of every freaking week, but now-," her voice breaks and she quickly clears her throat a coughs a couple of times before continuing. "Now she's got Rory,"

"We'll get Rory back," Luke assures her, taking her hand and squeezing it tight. Lorelai shakes her head, starts to say something, but he cuts her off. "Trust me. She's going to come back,"

He's almost afraid that she's going to ask him how he knows this, because he's not sure that he'd have an answer that was good enough for her. All he knows is that it's here, with Lorelai, where Rory belongs, and sooner or later, he's sure that Rory will realize this.

She smiles sadly though, and nods. "I gotta get back to the inn," she says, checking her watch and trying to speak in a normal tone. "Sookie and Michel don't know I left, I told Bernard, this new guy, that I was going to step out for a minute, but I'm not sure how reliable he is, so-,"

Luke cuts her off with a kiss. "Should I take you out tonight?"

She nods, and murmurs "Yeah, I'd like that," as she moves around the counter to kiss him goodbye. She hugs him afterward, whispering "I love you," in his ear when she finally pulls away. Those three words aren't enough to express what she feels for him right now, but when their eyes meet again, he smiles back at her, and she thinks that maybe he understands.

------

They arrive back at the diner at around 9:30 that night, all smiles, and the Rory scenario has almost been forgotten. They're planning on going back to Lorelai's house, but first Luke has to help Ceaser clean up. Usually Lane would have done it, but she was sick, and Luke feels bad about making Ceaser do it by himself, especially because he had already been forced to work a double shift today.

Lorelai heads for the counter, and Luke goes to pour her a cup of coffee after checking in with Ceaser, who was in the kitchen. Then he surveys the few customers remaining in the diner. There are only a few people left; but considering that it's a late Friday night, Luke is surprised at how many people there actually are. He sees the table in the back corner, the only one that's full, and he stops short.

Seated at the table are Rory, Emily, and Christopher. Luke immediately looks at Lorelai to see if she's noticed, because if she hasn't, maybe he could just take her upstairs now so she wouldn't have to deal with them. Though she's the strongest person he knows when it comes to most things, he doesn't think she'd be willing to deal with these three. At least not tonight.

It's too late, though. Emily had already seen them walk in, and now she's walking over to the counter where Lorelai is sitting. Christopher and Rory are soon following.

Luke's still frozen behind the counter, and Lorelai's just about to ask him what's wrong when Emily, who's standing behind her, clears her throat.

Lorelai knows immediately that it's her mother; there aren't many people with that harsh, annoying voice. She visibly cringes but tells herself that she's going to be brave, and then turns around to face her. It's obvious by the look on her face that she didn't know that either Christopher or Rory were standing there. She hardly notices Christopher for the first few moments (she'll get to him later) and focuses sorely on her daughter.

There's something different about her. Lorelai can't put her finger on it, but its there, trying to break through. She gets angry when she realizes that Emily is the one who arranged this not so friendly visit to Stars Hollow, not Rory. Rory didn't want to come back. Well, that was just fine. She wouldn't let Rory be Emily's puppet, though. No way was that going to happen.

Then her attention wanders to Christopher. What is he doing here? She thought she told him last time she talked to him to _leave her alone_.

She wonders why she didn't tell Luke about that.


	2. Chapter 2

While Lorelai is trying not to lash out at Christopher (she's tired of trying to reason with him, obviously it never works), Luke is desperately trying to catch her gaze. She's determined to deal with this on her own, though. She needs to make them _see_, once and for all. She needs them to know that this is her, this is where she wants to be, and she's not going to change any of that because of what they say.

"Yes?" she says quietly, after she's realized that they've been standing there for a few minutes now and no one has said anything.

"We've come to get some of Rory's books," Emily says harshly.

"Mom, I told you, I told you…," Lorelai tries to finish, but she can't, not while Rory is standing there in front of her looking so much like Emily that it makes Lorelai want to cry a little.

"You said that Rory had to come and get her things," Emily reminds her.

"Yes. _Herself._ If she's going to come back here, it's going to be because she wants to. Not because you're making her,"

"Why is it such a problem that she wants me to come with her?" Emily asks, and if Rory were still _Rory_, Lorelai knows that she would be exclaiming: _You can talk to me, I'm right here._

But this new Rory wouldn't dare to be so rude. She wouldn't _dare _to interrupt her grandmother when she was talking.

It kills her to realize that she doesn't even know her own daughter anymore.

Christopher speaks up then, and Luke's blood runs cold at the sound of that bastard's voice. It takes all he has not to strangle him. "Really, Lor, this isn't that big of a deal!"

"And you, Christopher, what are you doing here? I told you to leave me alone, do you remember that?" He gives her a warning glare, but either she doesn't see it or she doesn't care, because she keeps going. "I told you, either you're in or you're out, but you don't get to just _decide _when you're going to be there for Rory! Or for me!" She thinks she's crying now, because her vision has become blurred, but she doesn't care. She's so mad and hurt that she can't stop.

"Lor, if we could just talk for a minute-,"

"You said that you were sorry and I _believed _you! I actually believed that you wanted to make things right, but now here we are again!"

"Lor, come on," He's coming towards her, and Luke's breath catches in his throat.

"Get _away _from me, Christopher," she says through her tears. Luke is astonished to see pure terror in her eyes. She's gripping the counter behind her with so much force that her knuckles are turning white, and her hands are shaking.

Emily sees it too, and exclaims, "Honestly, Lorelai, it's not as if he's raped you or anything,"

The whole diner goes silent, and Luke goes over to the few customers that are still there and tells them that they're closing, and whatever food they have is on the house. He closes the door behind them after they leave, and turns back to Lorelai to give her a reassuring smile, but what he sees makes his heart stop.

She's still standing there, motionless. She's white as a sheet and is looking back and forth between Christopher and Luke. Her facial expression can only be described as a deer in headlights.

Emily is now glaring at Christopher too. "He didn't!" she exclaims, and it only angers Christopher more.

"You promised that you wouldn't tell!"

Luke is still standing at the door, and everyone has seemed to have forgotten he was there, except for Lorelai, who seems to be pleading with him through her eyes. He's not sure what she wants him to do, though. But pretty soon he's going to throw them out. He doesn't care if it's Rory. These three have hurt Lorelai so much that he wants to see them in pain.

"You promised!" Christopher is still exclaiming, a whining tone in his voice.

"I didn't!" Lorelai whispers, and her voice sounds muffled. "I didn't say anything!"

"You're lying!" Christopher yells, and he's coming towards her again. "You've told everyone!"

"No," She's trying to protest. "No, no,"

"Mom?" Rory asks in a small voice, but Lorelai can't answer. She won't answer.

"You bitch!" Christopher yells when he's just inches from her face. He lifts his hand up, as if he's going to slap her. He's got her backed up against the counter, and she's shaking her head vehemently.

Then Luke steps in between them. He pushes Christopher away, and grasps Lorelai's hands tightly. "Ceasar," he says, not taking his eyes away from Lorelai's face. Ceasar appears from the kitchen with a guilty look on his face, but Luke doesn't really care if he's overheard. "Take these people's orders and then lock up,"

"Hang on, Luke-," Ceasar tries to protest but Luke won't hear it.

"Just do it,"

------

He's not sure how they got up the stairs, but somehow they did, and now they're in his apartment. Lorelai's refusing to let go of him, she's clutching at his arms and his back, holding him as close as possible. He tries to soothe her, he whispers things in her ear and strokes her hair, but she won't stop crying.

It's only when they're lying in his bed an hour later, when she's finally fallen asleep, and he's looking at her, her breathing heavy and her face flushed, when he realizes that she's holding onto him so tightly that she's afraid that he's going to leave in the middle of the night, when he realizes that it _really _happened, he lets the tears flow. Silently though, because he doesn't want to wake her. He's so scared for her.

It's then when he promises himself that if he ever sees Christopher again, he's going to kill him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews!

* * *

**

The diner is filled with silence. Emily is still glaring at Christopher, who is focusing intently on the floor, thinking maybe that if no one says anything, they can all forget that it happened. As for Rory, she's looking longingly at the staircase, the spot where Lorelai and Luke just escaped through.

_Escaped? _

She's still mad at her mom. She tries to tell herself this, but her anger towards Lorelai for not understanding why she wanted to leave Yale, why she just needed a break, is replaced with sadness. She knows that it would probably be completely inappropriate, but all she wants right now is to go up to Luke's apartment and give her mom a hug. She just wants to tell her that it will all be okay.

There never was a time when Rory thought she wouldn't go back to Stars Hollow and Yale. Never did she think living with Richard and Emily, the DAR, and the pool house was going to be permanent. Things had just gotten so _hard _all of a sudden. She thought that taking some time off would help, but in all honesty, things had just gotten worse. Now she didn't even have her mother. That was probably the worst thing. She had always counted on Lorelai being on her side, and she knows that she had taken advantage of that. And now they couldn't even _look_ at each other.

Ceasar interrupts the quiet when he clears his throat and asks, "D-did you folks want something?" Rory knows that under any other circumstance, Emily would hate that they were called "folks" but to her surprise, Emily just shakes her head and ushers her and Christopher out the door.

Though Rory wouldn't be surprised if Emily left Christopher out on the street to find his own way home, (admittedly, that's probably what she would have done), Emily lets him ride in her car back to Hartford. Neither Emily nor Rory, however, speaks to him the whole way home. Rory feels like she's a little kid again, at one of the first Gilmore Christmas parties they had gone to, when she had been too shy to talk to her grandparents and had clung to her mother the whole night. That's exactly what she wanted to do now, and somehow she restrained herself from asking her grandmother to pull over so she could get out, run back to Luke's, and tell Lorelai how sorry she was, how all she had been thinking about the past few weeks was home, and how she thought if she got some of her old books, maybe she'd be reminded of Stars Hollow and Lorelai and she wouldn't be so lonely. She really wanted to tell her why she hadn't called so she could get her books herself, why she had insisted that Emily and Christopher (really the only reason he came was because he happened to be over for dinner that night) go with her. _It wasn't because I didn't want to come back. _She reminds herself. _It was because I did. _

Before long they are pulling up to Christopher's house. He gets out of the car and tries to apologize one more time, but Emily won't hear it. She tells Rory to come and sit next to her in the front seat, and though she's confused, Rory does as she's told.

"I don't want you to get all worked up over this," Emily tells her as she drives away. "I don't want you to feel like this is your fault, all right? There's nothing you could have done to change this,"

Rory literally feels like she's about to throw up, because believe it or not, she hadn't even _thought _that this could have, well, resulted in her. She can't help but feel guilty, despite what Emily says. She knows that she's going to have to call her mom tomorrow, no matter how hard it will be. She needs answers.

------

Luke is suddenly awoken in the middle of the night when he feels Lorelai shifting from his embrace. He hears her feet padding across the floor, and the soft click of the bathroom door, and he sits there for a moment, taking in his surroundings. At first he wonders what they're doing in his apartment; he's used to waking up at Lorelai's. Then it all comes back to him and he gets up and puts his ear to the bathroom door. He isn't surprised to hear sobs coming from the other side.

He knocks softly and says her name a few times, gently coaxing her to open the door. When she obliges, the harsh bathroom light makes her eyes look redder and her face paler than they actually are. She sniffles and tries to wipe the tears off her cheeks. She tries to smile, tries to come up with something that will make all of this seem funny. That's what they do on TV, right?

But the thought keeps running through her mind that this is different. What happens on TV is just pretend, that's what she'd always tell Rory when she was younger. This really happened.

This makes her cry even harder. Luke doesn't say anything, he simply turns off the bathroom light, picks her up, and carries her back to the bed, where he strokes her hair and kisses her until she can fall asleep again.

Somewhere around four in the morning, she finally speaks to him. Her voice is quiet but hoarse from all the crying, and at first he's not even sure who's talking. "I want to tell you," she says slowly. "What happened. I want you to know."

While it would be so much easier to tell her to go back to sleep, to wait until morning, he nods, because he's not sure if tomorrow she'll be so willing to share, and he whispers, "All right," dreading what's to come


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews! **

She's silent for a few minutes, and Luke can't help but wonder if she's fallen asleep (it seems highly unlikely, but she's _so_ quiet) or if she's simply gathering her thoughts. She snuggles close to him, so close that he can feel her heartbeat in his chest and her nervous breathing on his neck. He seeks out her hand and squeezes it beneath his own. He feels her mouth open and close a few times, but nothing comes out.

"Hey," he whispers. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he can hear the desperation in his own voice and he's pretty sure that she can too.

She shakes her head emphatically and he can feel her hot tears on his neck. "I want to," she whispers, bringing her eyes up to meet his. She gives him a small smile. "I'm just having some trouble putting it into words,"

"Take your time," he reassures her gently. "Really,"

For some reason, she's surprised that he's so sensitive to her feelings, even though she knows she shouldn't be. He's _Luke_, her fiancé, her best friend, and the first man she'd been able to always trust. The only one who had never let her down and the one she'd always been able to lean on when it hurt too much to hold her own head up.

"Lorelai," Luke whispers again, in the concerned tone that she alone gets to hear. "Maybe you should just go back to sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow," he's worried because as far as he knows, she's gotten less than an hour of sleep tonight, something that no amount of coffee will be able to fix.

"No," she says forcefully, shaking her head. "Please," she whispers. "Just let me…okay?"

"Okay," he soothes, pulling her closer to him. "Okay,"

And suddenly she's telling him, words spilling out uncontrollably. She's talking so quickly that she's not even sure if he can understand her, but she keeps going anyway.

She tells him how she and Christopher had been best friends since nursery school, when he spilled chocolate milk on her dress, and how growing up, they had done everything together. She tells him about every time he'd asked her out, and how she just never had thought about him that way. How he'd been jealous of her eighth grade boyfriend, and had driven him away, and how she'd been angry with him for weeks, even though her boyfriend had been annoying and preppy and she actually was glad to get rid of him. How he'd had way too much to drink at his sixteenth birthday party, and how his parents didn't even seem to care. How he had dragged her up to his room and locked the door behind them. How she should have realized that he was too drunk to know what he was doing. How he made her promise never to tell anyone. How she had forgiven him for Rory's sake. How much it killed her every time her mother tried to get her and Christopher back together. How she knew that Rory suspected something because after he came to visit, Lorelai would always lock herself into her bedroom for a good solid hour and tell Rory that she was cleaning.

She talks until her voice is hoarse, until she's practically blinded by her tears. Luke holds her tightly, refusing to let her go, shushing her, soothing her, rocking her. He kisses her and tells her he loves her again and again, until her tears and gasps have somewhat subsided. He notices that she's shivering, so he pulls the blankets tightly around them and tells her to sleep because he can tell that she's exhausted.

"Don't stop holding me," she tells him, her voice still uneven and full of emotion. He simply nods and presses his lips to her hair, not able to look at her; she's so raw and exposed that it's too much for him.

When she's asleep, he calls Ceasar and tells him that he won't be able to open the diner. There's no way he's going to be able to leave her alone.

------

Rory can't sleep. She's been tossing and turning for hours, counting sheep, dogs, elephants, and almost every type of animal she can think of. She's tried to force herself to think of nothing at all (that usually works when she's stressed), but there's that one image still replaying in her mind.

Her mother, standing in the middle of the diner. Defeated. Broken.

She rolls over and checks the clock again. Four twelve. Less than five minutes since she's last looked.

Rory sighs and gets up. There's no way she's going to be able to get to sleep. She leaves her bedroom and heads for the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. She's sitting at the counter, surveying the pool house, and she realizes something.

She hates living alone. She had thought it would be fun. She had thought it would be just what she needed. She was so incredibly wrong.

She hates what she's doing to her mother. She feels guilty all the time. It's not a great feeling.

She knows though, that if she asked, Lorelai would take her back right away, no questions asked, because that's how much she loves her daughter. Rory can almost hear her now: _Its okay, hon, don't worry about it. Let's just put it behind us, okay?_

After everything she's been through, she can still forgive. She forgave her parents. She forgave Christopher. And she would forgive Rory.

Content with these thoughts, Rory lays her head down on the counter and soon is asleep.

------

Luke awakes to find Lorelai looking at him. "Hey," he murmurs sleepily, pulling her close to him again, memories of last night still fresh. "How long have you been up?"

"Only a few minutes," she whispers back. "Luke, I'm sorry about last night,"

"What?" he asks, genuinely surprised. "Why?"

"I just-," she tries to explain. "I've never really told anyone that before, you know, and I just let my emotions get the best of me…," her voice trails off. "And I scared you, I'm sorry,"

"You didn't scare me," he protests. "Made me want to beat the crap out of Christopher, yes, but scare me? No,"

"Luke, it's not his fault, okay? He was mind numbingly drunk. He wasn't thinking, he- he _couldn't _think,"

He knows that she's trying to convince him, but he can see that this is just something she's been telling herself all these years, something to get rid of all the guilt and the hurt feelings.

He pulls her even closer and whispers, softly, "He shouldn't have hurt you,"

She whimpers and squeezes her eyes shut, desperately trying to fight off tears.

She's quiet again, and he thinks that maybe she's fallen back asleep, until he hears her say something, into the crook of his neck, so quietly that he has to strain his ears to hear her.

"I know,"


	5. Chapter 5

It's early afternoon, the lunch rush has just about ended, and Luke decides to wipe down a few tables before heading back upstairs. Ceasar is across the room, doing the same thing, and Luke makes a mental note to give him a raise, because now that he thinks about it, Ceasar hasn't gone home since early this morning.

They both look up when the bell over the door dings. Two tourists walk in (and it's evident that they're just that, from the goofy sunglasses they wear and the countless bags they both carry.) and sit at the counter. Luke moves to serve them, but Ceasar gets there first.

"I got it, boss. Go on upstairs,"

Luke smiles gratefully and runs up to his apartment. Lorelai had agreed (with some persuasion from him) to stay home from the inn today. He had told her it was because she hadn't gotten much sleep last night, but in reality he just didn't want to let her out of his sight. He had gone up to check on her every fifteen minutes or so, even though almost every time she was doing the exact same thing as when he last left her. She told him that she was fine being alone for awhile, but really, she liked that he was so concerned about her.

He opens the door quietly; he doesn't want to wake her if she's asleep. She's not though, she's sitting on the couch watching God knows what, but it doesn't matter because when she sees him she gives him a big smile and pats the couch next to her. He complies and sits next to her, pulling her tight against him.

"Knew you were coming," she whispers with a smile and he smiles too, pressing his lips against her hair.

"Everything okay up here?" he asks, and they both know he means more than his apartment.

"I'm fine," she tells him. "Thanks for letting me stay here today,"

"Anytime," he says, trying not to think about how she hadn't wanted to go home alone earlier that morning, how she hadn't wanted him to go down to the diner, and most of all, what she had told him last night.

She starts laughing about something that had been said on the television and he hugs her closer to him and kisses her forehead before settling back with her. Ceasar would be fine for a few more minutes.

------

Rory doesn't know why she pauses before going into the diner. It's not like she's never been there before; she just feels weird, like it's wrong for her to be there. Like maybe they won't want to see her.

Maybe it's because memories of last night are still fresh in her mind. Maybe it's because she saw Lorelai's jeep still at their ( _her,_ she reminds herself bitterly, for a reason unknown to her, she still can't seem to remember that she doesn't live there anymore) house when she drove by and when she stopped and got out, Babbette ran over to her and started firing questions: where is Lorelai, why didn't she come home last night, is Luke with her, did something happen? Was it good? Was it bad? And where has Rory been all this time? Are she and Lorelai still mad at each other? But they'll work it out, right?

And Rory could only stand there and pretend that everything was okay. She could only pretend that she knew where her mother was, and she knew she did a terrible job of hiding the fact that it was obvious that Lorelai stayed at Luke's last night and didn't come home, and if her jeep was still there it must mean she hadn't gone to the inn either, and that meant that things were way worse than Rory could have thought. But thankfully, Babbette didn't ask her about that.

As soon as she could get away, Rory drove to the diner, hoping that her mother was there and hadn't run off somewhere like she had been known to do in the past when things got rough. She parks across the street and sits in her car, afraid to stay there but afraid to get out too.

She just sighs after a few minutes and gets out of her car. Trying not to think about it anymore, she walks into the diner.

"R-Rory," Luke greets her, unable to hide the surprise on his face. She can't help but notice that he looks different. Older, maybe. Like he's aged five or six years in the last twelve hours. He looks distracted too, like there's somewhere else he'd rather be, and Rory knows that it's probably with Lorelai.

"Yeah," Rory nods, and she hopes he can't see how nervous she is. "I came to see Mom. Is she uh, is she here?"

He blinks. "Yeah, she's upstairs,"

"Oh, is she asleep or something, because I can come back at another time," she says. She looks at him again and his face is softer this time. She knows he can see right through her.

"No, its okay," he protests. "Go ahead,"

Once upstairs, she hesitates once more. Should she knock? Is it okay if she just walks in? What if Lorelai's asleep? Or worse, crying? _Come on, you made it this far,_ she tells herself, and then she opens the door.

"Mom?" she calls softly and for a moment, she's six years old again. "Mom, are you here?" she sees Lorelai out of the corner of her eye over by the sofa and turns just in time to see her wiping her eyes on the sleeve of one of Luke's flannel shirts. "Hi," she says with a small smile, hoping that her just waltzing in like this isn't too awkward.

"Rory?" Lorelai whispers, as if she can't believe her daughter is really here. Rory's heart breaks to see her like this, with no makeup on and her eyes red from crying. And she just looks so small and weak and so unbelievably not like her usual self.

"Yeah," Rory says awkwardly.

"W-what are you doing here?" Lorelai's voice is quiet.

"I…," Rory begins. There are so many things she needs to say and questions she needs to ask, and she's unsure how to start. Before she can stop herself, everything starts to come out at once. "When did this happen, exactly? Why didn't you tell me? Were you ever going to tell me? Did Luke know before last night? Why aren't you at the inn today? Did you have to tell Sookie what happened? Is it all over the town now? Did Dad hurt you? How come you couldn't tell anyone? Why do you let Dad in again and again when you know he's just going to end up hurting you again? It's wrong! You shouldn't do it anymore! I'm not going to see him again, Mom, I'm not!"

"Whoa, Rory, hon, slow down," Lorelai says softly but firmly. "One thing at a time," Rory looks at her and sees that she has tears in her eyes.

"Okay, I just need to know," Rory begins, her voice shaky. "If this did, in fact, result in-,"

"Yes," Lorelai whispers shortly, and she almost has to turn away because of how much hurt is on Rory's face.

"All right," Rory says unevenly. Even though she had anticipated this, it still makes her stumble backwards like a slap in the face. "All right,"

"Rory-," Lorelai begins, not knowing at all what she wants to say, but somehow she has to let her daughter know that she doesn't hate her, that she's never hated her or blamed her for this in any way, shape or form.

"Why couldn't you tell me?" Rory says in a strangled voice, starting out quiet but growing louder with every word. "You're supposed to be my best friend! This-this is a big, big thing not to tell me about!"

"I know-," Lorelai begins but Rory makes it clear that she's not finished.

"So, what? You just kept this a secret for twenty-some years? You can't do that, Mom. You're supposed to trust me!"

"Oh, yeah? When you go running off to my parents because you can't _possibly _work anything out with me, I'm still supposed to trust you? When you three form the I-Hate-Lorelai club-,"

"Oh, please," she scoffs. "You and Luke got engaged and you couldn't so much as tell me!"

"Okay, that's not-,"

"You got engaged to replace me, didn't you?" Rory practically screams. "I just needed some time away from Yale. Away from Stars Hollow, away from _you_, and you can't even wait a day before you replace me!"

"Don't you dare," Lorelai says. "You leave Luke out of this, do you hear me?"

"Do you even want to get married, Mom? Where do you see yourself ten years from now? Is it with Luke?"

Lorelai blinks in disbelief. "What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you wanted me to be happy! You have no right to just come in here and-,"

"I'm your daughter! I have the right to give you my opinions on your life!"

"Oh my God," Lorelai exclaims, tears rolling down her face but she pays no attention to them. All she can see is her daughter, but somehow she's not her daughter anymore. "This isn't you, Rory,"

"Excuse me?"

"No. This isn't you, this isn't my baby girl. This is Emily. This is not my smart, strong, beautiful daughter-,"

"That came into this world how, exactly?"

Lorelai's face softened. "Oh, Rory-,"

"I bet you couldn't eve look at me, right?" She's really crying now, big sloppy tears that blur her vision to the point that she's not sure if her mother's still standing in front of her. "Because every time you did, you would be reminded of this terrible, terrible-,"

"Rory, hey, listen to me," her mother interrupts. "It wasn't like that, not at all. It was never like that,"

"Why should I believe you? You've lied to me my entire life!"

Lorelai sighs. "I'm not going to argue with you, hon. I should have told you, I know. I just didn't want to…,"

"Didn't want to what, Mom?"

"I knew that your reaction wouldn't be wonderful, and I was going to tell you, I just needed to wait until you were older, but then-,"

"What?"

"We were doing so _well_, you and me and him. He was around more and you just loved it. And I could finally be around him again and we could talk like we used to and Rory, things were just…good. We were starting to become a family. Admittedly, a dysfunctional one, but-,"

"No, mom," Rory says forcefully. "We've never been a family,"

"You say that now, but hon-," Lorelai tries again, but Rory presses on again.

"Family doesn't hurt each other,"

She gives a forced laugh. "Take a look at your grandparents,"

"You should have seen Grandma last night. She was really concerned about you," Rory says but she only half believes it.

"Oh really? Did you take a picture of that?"

"Mom," Rory says, exasperated.

"It'll last longer,"

"You're being unreasonable,"

"_I'm_ being-,"

"She's your mother. She cares about you. She wants you to be happy," She sounds robotic when she says this, like it's something she's studied for on a big test that took hours of memorizing.

Lorelai sadly shakes her head. "Oh, honey, no. She wants herself to be happy. That's it. She's never cared about me,"

Rory doesn't know what to say to this, so she simply walks over and gives her mother a hug. They're both still crying and unsure of each other, but Rory at least knows things will be okay soon, if not now, when her mother says:

"I feel like we're in one of those sappy movies. I fell like Scarlett,"

"Uh-oh," Rory says in a somewhat joking manner.

Lorelai sighs dramatically and starts imitating the character from _Gone With the Wind_, and Rory grins and starts to join in. Then she pauses though, because it just feels like this is too easy. They'd been fighting for what? Four months? And then in a matter of minutes, everything is back to where it was before. "Mom?" she asks tentatively. "We're okay, right?"

Lorelai nods and hugs her again. When she pulls away, she says, "Listen, you and me? We're always okay,"

"You sure?"

"Let's just put this fight behind us, okay? Let's just try not to think about it anymore,"

"Okay," Rory nods. "I stopped by the house earlier. Babbette was firing questions like there was no tomorrow,"

Lorelai laughs. "That sounds about right,"

"I can't believe you kept this from the whole town. I mean, if Babbette doesn't know, no one does,"

"I have my ways,"

"Did you tell Sookie when you called in to the inn?"

She shrugs. "Luke called. I think he just told her I wasn't feeling well,"

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I think that you and Luke are great together,"

"I know," Lorelai says softly.

"Really, Mom. I do. I feel like such a jerk. I'm so sorry, Mom. For everything,"

Lorelai smiles but it fails to reach her eyes. "It's all right. Everything's going to be okay now,"

"Mom-," Rory stutters, unsure of how she wants to say this but knowing that she has to.

Lorelai turns and becomes concerned. "What, sweets?"

"I'm not going to talk to Dad again. I just want you to know,"

"What?" Lorelai replies, shocked. "Rory, you can't just-,"

"No," Rory shakes her head and, to her embarrassment, feels the tears again. "No, I _can just_,"

"C'mere," Lorelai holds her arms open and hugs her again. Her daughter starts sobbing into her shoulder and she starts to cry too. "It'll be okay," she whispers and she wishes that Rory was three again, and they were crying over a scraped up knee.

….because then she actually knew that it would be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews! I'm sorry you had to wait so long.**

* * *

As Lorelai stands in Luke's apartment holding her crying daughter, she can't help but think about things. If Christopher is still in town. Whether or not Rory will go back to the pool house after this. What her mother thinks. If her father knows. What she's going to tell Rory if she asks…

She holds Rory tighter now, praying that Rory won't want to know the details leading to her conception. She's never been the religious sort, and she's never really asked for anything before, so she hopes that praying right now is okay.

She'd never be able to get through that explanation and be in one piece. She knows this. Maybe if Rory really needed to know, she could ask Luke. Not that that would save any of the shock or tears or heartbreak, but Lorelai doesn't think she can even bring herself to say the _words_ again.

"Mom?" Rory asks, pulling away slightly. Her porcelain cheeks are tear stained and her eyes are red.

"What, sweets?" Lorelai whispers, afraid of what she's going to ask next.

"What's going to happen now?" Rory says uncertainly.

She gulps. "I don't know," And she really doesn't. There are so many things that she's unsure of right now. She has always hated not knowing the answers. This time is certainly no exception.

"Is it…is it going to be bad?"

She's scared, Lorelai realizes, and the thought nearly kills her because there is nothing she can do about it. "I don't know," she manages in a whisper.

She wishes she had a better answer, but for now, that will have to do.

------

Luke's worried. It's not like he hasn't been thinking about Lorelai being alone up in his apartment every single second for the past few hours, but now Rory is there too. He's not sure whether to be more worried about Rory or Lorelai right now.

He'd expected the yelling. When he heard the two voices (to the untrained ear it could be considered nearly impossible to distinguish which was which, but he'd had years of practice), each getting higher and edgier with each word, he's pretty sure he hadn't even flinched. After all, Lorelai and Rory were both Gilmores, and that's how Gilmores handle things. They yell. They whine. They scream. They cry. But never are they so _quiet_.

That's what scares him, really. The silence. He can't even begin to picture what could be going on up there. In fact, he's not so sure he even wants to know. It's been awhile now, though. At least ten minutes since he's heard so much as a footstep.

He's decided that he is worried about them both, but mostly Lorelai. It doesn't seem right to be thinking this, but he can't help it. When Rory walked in about an hour ago, she was so different in his eyes.

It was probably those nights he'd stayed up with Lorelai that was the cause of this. It had only happened a few times, but those few stuck out in his mind so much that it seemed like more. It first happened the night they had gotten engaged. Luke had been awoken only because she was crying so hard. He could tell that she had desperately been trying not to wake him but despite that, he woke up anyway. He had known right away what it was about. He had whispered her name in an attempt to calm her down. She had shaken her head 'no', but he took her in his arms anyway. Lorelai had turned to face him and buried her face in his chest, whispering things like 'I'm sorry' and 'it's all my fault'. He had stroked her hair and whispered something to soothe her, but either she couldn't hear him or she just didn't want to.

Lorelai had fallen back asleep after a few minutes, but he had stayed awake every time in case she needed him again. It was all she would let him do anyway. She was so scared that he would turn against her too. Of course, she never came out and said this, but he knew.

He loves Rory like his own daughter, really he does. It's just that seeing Lorelai so hurt from a direct result of something Rory did makes him wonder just how much Rory has changed over the summer. He feels like he doesn't even know her anymore.

When he realizes that he's been scrubbing the same spot on the counter for at least fifteen minutes, he decides to go up and make sure everything is okay. For him, if not for her. He needs to know that she's still in one piece.

When he opens the door and sees them on the couch together, though, he feels like he's interrupted a private moment. Rory's head is in her mother's lap and though her eyes are closed, it's clear she's not asleep. She says something that Luke can't quite make out, and then Lorelai answers her. She's running her fingers through her daughter's hair with such a look on her face that Luke can't help but wonder if his own mother ever looked at him like that.

He decides that they must be okay for the time being, and tries to turn to go back to the safety of the diner, but his feet seem to be rooted to the floor. He's pretty sure that he's not supposed to be seeing this and it makes him really uncomfortable seeing the both of them so distraught, but he can't make himself turn away.

Then Lorelai looks up and he can't keep his eyes off her. Her face is white and tearstained, but still she's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. She whispers something to Rory who nods without opening her eyes. Lorelai gets off the couch and in one swift movement, takes Luke's hand and leads him out into the hallway.

They look at each other for a few moments, and Luke's feeling more and more awkward with each second that goes by. He's pretty sure that he wasn't supposed to see that moment between Lorelai and Rory.

"Hi," she whispers finally, a smile breaking out through her tears just like the sun peeking out after a rainstorm. He can do nothing but smile back at her, because now it hits him: Rory's back.

He kisses her then. Once, twice, three times and she answers back with need, with desperation. He has to remind himself that Rory's in the next room and he frames her face with his hands, resting his forehead against hers. His eyes flicker to the apartment door and then back to hers, and she nods with understanding. She suddenly wraps her arms around him in an embrace so fierce that his breath catches in his throat. She's not quite crying, but he can feel her eyelashes fluttering against his neck and he knows she's fighting off tears.

"You okay?" he whispers into her hair.

"We yelled," she admits. "Rory and me. I don't think we've ever been that mad at each other,"

"But everything's okay now," he soothes, rubbing her back gently. "You and Rory are going to be fine. You'll be your usual wacky selves in no time,"

He means this as a joke of course, but when she pulls away from him, she looks so incredibly devastated that he wonders if now wasn't the best time.

"She _hates _Christopher," Lorelai whispers softly. "Luke, she said she was never going to talk to or see him again,"

"But-," Luke says, confused. "Isn't that a good thing? You don't want her hanging around Chris, do you?"

"He's her father. She can't just avoid him,"

"Lorelai-,"

"He's not a bad person Luke, okay? He made a mistake and he's paid for it and I've paid for it, but I don't want Rory to have to pay for it,"

"But are you sure she should be-?" he asks, and then there's a silence. He looks at her again hesitantly.

"I don't know," she admits after a few moments. "I just know that if Rory stays away from him, it'll be my fault,"

"What? How will it be your fault?"

"It just will be!" she cries, frustrated. "My mom, and-and my dad-,"

"This has nothing to do with them," Luke insists, but she continues on as if she hasn't heard him.

"They'll twist it and turn it and they'll _make _it my fault!" she's dangerously close to tears again and he takes her in his arms again and strokes her hair.

"Look, maybe it's not my place," he says quietly. "But I think you should just stay away from him. He's just going to hurt you guys again, I know it," he looks her square in the eye. "Please, Lorelai. It's the right thing,"

"No," she says sadly. "It's the easy thing,"

"They should be the same," Luke argues.

"But they're not," she whispers. "I'm not even sure what the right thing is yet. I just know that I can't keep Rory from Chris. She's his daughter too,"

"You're not keeping her from him. She doesn't want to see him, remember?"

"I…I don't know,"

"Just don't let him hurt you again. I couldn't bear that," Luke says and there's desperation in his voice. "Please," he whispers.

"Okay," Lorelai nods. She's pretty sure that she can't afford to have another person mad at her. She closes her eyes and he softly rubs his thumbs across her eyelids. "Okay, okay,"

"And listen, maybe what Rory needs right now is just some space," he adds, hoping she'll agree.

"Yeah," she breathes, eyes still closed.

"Lorelai?" he asks, suddenly concerned.

Her eyes flutter open and he's astonished to see tears in her yes. "I'm just…I'm really tired, you know?"

"Yeah," he whispers, holding her tighter. "Do you want me to take you and Rory home?"

"Tired of me already?" she asks, sighing, sounding defeated. She closes her eyes again.

"No," he says quickly. She opens her eyes and they seem to be asking him if he's sure. "Of course not. I just thought-,"

"Could I-," she begins hesitantly. "Luke, I'm just not ready to go home yet,"

"Okay. But you can't avoid them forever, you know,"

"Who?"

He holds her gaze firmly. "Your parents and Chris. You and I both know that there's going to be messages on your answering machine when you get back," She doesn't answer but he knows that she's been thinking this all along. "Look, I have to get back to the diner. Why don't you go lie down for awhile?" he lightly strokes her arm as he speaks. "Just relax, okay?" she nods and hugs him again. "And we could watch a movie tonight, if you want. Get your mind off things. You choose,"

She laughs weakly. "That's a dangerous decision you're making, mister,"

He kisses her. "See you in a little while,"

"Okay. Love you,"

He can't help it. They kiss again. "Love you too,"

Her hand is on the doorknob and he's just about to go back downstairs, but then she stops and says his name. He looks at her questioningly and she gives him a watery smile. "Rory's back," she whispers and he smiles.

"Yeah. Rory's back," he says with a tone that's mean to assure her that Rory's return is a good thing. He knows that Lorelai thinks Rory came back only because of what happened yesterday. He knows, though, that recent events were just what gave Rory the push out the door that she'd been waiting for. He gives Lorelai a nod before turning and descending down the stairs.

Less than an hour later, the diner is packed and he's struggling to get everyone their food. He stops, ignoring the complaining customers because he hears the sound of laughter directly above him. He smiles in spite of himself.

_Oh yeah. _He thinks to himself. _They're gonna be fine._

------

It's still another few days before she can go home. Rory's staying with Lane; she says she still has some things she needs to figure out. Lorelai is okay with this arrangement only because this time, Rory's still in Stars Hollow.

She hasn't heard from her parents in a week. She figures either they're too shocked to talk to her, or they're teaming up with Christopher in one way or another. She doesn't really care what they're doing anymore.

And Luke. He'd been so wonderful to her. He'd opened his home to her without a question and she knows that she never would have been able to get through this without him.

But it was time now. She's not going to avoid her home forever; she can't do that anyway. She has to be strong for Rory. She always has to be the strong one.

She had told Luke that she wanted to spend the first night alone. She needed to prove to herself that she wasn't afraid. He had reluctantly agreed, but had reminded her at least six times to call if she needed anything, no matter what time it was.

Its two a.m. now. She's been tossing and turning for hours. She's not exactly afraid. She's just thinking about things. She knows that Luke doesn't want her to talk to Christopher again, and she's not sure if she could trust herself to talk to him either. But what should she do about Rory?

Rory, who has always adored her father, despite all the times he hasn't been there for her. Rory, who has given him second, third, fourth, and fifth chances. Rory, who works so hard to see the good in everyone.

She knows that Rory's twenty-one now, and she can do whatever she wants, but Lorelai is sure not going to be the reason that she stays away from her father.

She needs to fix this.

She sits straight up in bed and grabs the phone off the bedside table. With trembling fingers, she dials.

Her voice is strangely steady. "Chris? It's Lorelai. We need to talk,"

She knows what she needs to do.

She's going to fix this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, I know that it has been an extremely long wait, and I would just like to thank everyone that's hung on this far. I think that writing this story really tested my abilities, if you know what I mean, and helped me to become a better writer. I really enjoyed writing this story, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. And once again, thank you so so much for all of the great feedback!  
**

_Two weeks later  
_

Luke can't help but smile as he opens the diner early Tuesday morning. Things are good. _Well, not exactly good, but a lot better than they were_, he reflects. He, Rory, and Lorelai's parents remained the only souls who knew of her secret. Well, and Christopher of course. But Luke did his very best to forget about that weasel's existence. Lorelai had been back at work for a few weeks now, Rory started Yale again yesterday, and they had even attended Friday night dinner last week. So far, so good.

He actually whistles as he gives Kirk his breakfast of smiley-face pancakes and scrambled eggs. It throws Kirk a little off guard, which is, well, understandable.

"What, Kirk?" Luke asks in reference to the look on Kirk's face. He does his best to sound irritated, but really he is slightly amused.

"What?" Kirk feigns confusion.

"You know what. What's with the look?" The question Luke really should be asking is _What's with the smiley-faced pancakes?_, but because he's in a good mood, he's going to let that one slide.

"What look?" Now Kirk acts offended.

"The look you just- you know what, forget it," Luke throws his hands up in the air. It's hard to take someone seriously when they are eating faces for breakfast.

"Uh, boss?" Ceasar enters the kitchen, looking guilty.

"Yeah, Ceasar?" Luke answers, still shaking his head at Kirk's antics.

"We're out of maple syrup,"

"What? How can we be out of maple syrup? We buy cases of that stuff!" Ceasar looks especially guilty when Luke points this out. "Don't we buy _cases _of maple syrup, Ceasar?"

"Uh, well, you see…," Ceasar begins hesitantly. Luke knows he probably shouldn't have made Ceasar in charge of the ordering this month. Geez. He was just trying to give the guy a break.

Luke cuts him off. "It's 6:30 in the morning! Where the heck am I supposed to find maple syrup? Doose's isn't open for another hour and a half!"

"You know what boss, don't even worry about it. I'll take care of it," Ceasar is already taking off his apron. "I'll go find some right away,"

Right at that moment, however, a mob of people walk into the diner. Luke sighs. There's no way he can manage without Ceasar. Lane's shift doesn't start until 7:00, and he's alone if he sends Ceasar on a maple syrup quest.

"No, wait, hang on a sec," he says, causing Ceasar, already half-way out the door, to look severely disappointed.

"Come on," he whines.

Luke takes him by the shoulder and turns him around. "Go help those people," he said. "I'll be right back,"

He vaguely hears Ceasar grumble something under his breath as he makes his way over to the other side of the diner. Luke goes back to the storage room. When he gets there, he looks around and puts his hands on his hips. So. Making Ceasar in charge of unpacking wasn't such a great idea either.

It takes Luke a few minutes, but after tripping over at least three boxes, he finds it: one last bottle of maple syrup. In between the ketchup and the pickles. Okay. So Ceasar's not the most organized person in the world. But he knew that when he hired him. Luke takes the bottle back out to the diner and Ceasar looks at him as if they've just won a gold medal in the Olympics. What Ceasar doesn't know is that he is fired from pretty much everything but cooking, ordering and serving.

------

When 8:00 am rolls around, Luke takes it upon himself to get them some more syrup. Ceasar has been hiding in the kitchen ever since Lane arrived; he's mad at Luke because he took away his ordering and unpacking privileges. Luke shakes his head and smiles. It had been quite a morning.

He leaves Doose's after being terribly overpriced by Taylor (and in no way being able to talk him down) with a grocery sack full of maple syrup bottles. Luke had made a phone call to his supplier, and they too, were dangerously low on maple syrup. So he figured he had better stock up.

He is walking back to the diner when he sees someone out of the corner of his eye.

Luke takes a step back and shakes his head. He must be seeing things. For a minute there, he almost thought he saw…

_ Wait. Why is Lorelai walking out of Weston's with…no, it can't be. He wouldn't dare.  
_

But it is. Luke sets the grocery bag down on a nearby bench and walks after them. He follows them to Lorelai's house. _Wait a minute…_he thinks. Is he in some sort of alternative universe? Did the past few weeks not happen? But the real question he wants to ask is: _Why is Lorelai hiding this from me?_

He lets them go in the house and sits on the front stoop, a dazed expression on his face. _What's going on here?_ He had thought that in the last few weeks he and Lorelai had gotten closer, not further apart. Why would she not bother to tell him that she had invited him over like this?

Unless she didn't invite him over. What if he had just showed up, out of the blue? He had probably cornered Lorelai at home or the Dragonfly when he knew she would be alone. That would be just like him. Luke should just go in and show that guy who's boss. He had absolutely no right to be here.

Luke gets up and walks right in the door. And there they are, sitting on the couch, the very same couch that he and Lorelai had sat on the night before when they were watching television. For some reason, Luke is especially angry when he thinks about this.

Lorelai sees Luke before Christopher does, and immediately jumps up from where she was sitting. "Luke-," she begins, but Christopher cuts her off, standing up as well.

"I thought you said he wasn't going to be here!" he exclaims, looking a little distressed as his gaze travels from her to Luke, and then back to her again.

"I will _kill _ you, do you hear me?" Luke is now so angry that he can't see straight, can't see the pleading look on Lorelai's face. "I will kill you if you hurt her!"

"Will you now?" Christopher taunts him.

"Chris, stop it!" Lorelai exclaims before turning back to Luke. "This isn't what you think-," she says desperately.

"And what do I think this is?" Luke asks, angry that she thinks she knows him so well. But in reality, she does. He feels himself to be at a serious disadvantage because she couldn't bring herself to tell him something as important as this.

She doesn't answer. "Lorelai, what the _hell _ is going on?" He yells, and immediately regrets it when he sees tears forming in her eyes. His voice is considerably gentler when he asks, "Did you invite him here?"

Her voice shakes as she wraps her arms around her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible while both men stare at her. "I-I just…,"

The room is silent as she looks for the right words. Luke asks her, very softly, one more time. "Did you?"

Lorelai is looking at a picture on the wall rather than either of them when she whispers, "Yes."

Luke grabs her arm and says "Okay, we need a minute here", even though he thinks Christopher doesn't deserve to know where they are going. He leads her into the kitchen and sits her down in a chair, and then leans against the countertop, arms crossed. "Talk," he says.

Lorelai takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes before beginning. "All right, you have every excuse to be angry, because this looks really bad, I know, but please just hear me out-"

Luke finds himself pacing around the kitchen without knowing how or when he began. "What are you doing, inviting _him _ here? It's like-it's like the last two weeks didn't even happen-!"

She's extremely quiet as she looks him in the eye and says, "No, it's not."

"I mean, really, Lorelai! Don't you know what he did?" Luke throws his arms up in frustration.

"Yes, Luke. I was there, remember?" She's still sitting at the table, now staring at her hands, trying not to cry.

He blinks, coming back to himself. "I'm sorry," he says, not just for that outburst but for all of them.

"It's okay," she says, still refusing to look him in the eye. He sits down next to her and takes her hands in his.

"So, tell me," he says gently.

"Okay, well, I invited him here so we could talk about Rory,"

Luke of course, immediately thinks the worst. "What? I thought Rory was-,"

"She's fine Luke, she's still at Yale, still moved out of my parents' house…it's just that she's still refusing to talk to Chris." She gives Luke a meaningful look. "And, by the looks of it, you're still refusing to see why that's a problem."

"I just think that he-," Luke begins.

"I know. I know what you're going to say, and I agree with you, for the most part." She gives him a small smile. "But think of this from Rory's point of view. She's young, she doesn't totally understand the circumstances surrounding the…event, and, well, I don't want her to be like me, cutting off her parents before she really gets a chance to hate them!"

Luke still disagrees. "It's not the same thing."

"It _is _the same thing. She's too young to be cutting people out of her life, Luke."

"But she still has you, and you're a better parent than he'll ever be,"

She smiles ruefully. "I can't disagree with you there,"

"No," Luke shakes his head vehemently. "I don't care. He doesn't deserve to be in your life."

"In _her _ life, Luke. I myself am having a hard time just being in the same room as him for enough time to even have this conversation."

Luke is a little confused. "But I thought you said…,"

"I know," Lorelai says, thinking to their conversation of a few days ago, where she had assured Luke that she was getting over the incident, and that it was just hard after having it suddenly thrown in her face again, after so much time. She had said that she was going to do her best to try and forgive Christopher (to forgive him _again_, Luke had interjected), because, no matter what, he was still Rory's father and it was going to be unavoidable that she would see him, whether it be at Rory's college graduation, wedding, or whatever other event would come up.

Luke had accepted this at the time, but didn't know that the inevitable meeting with Christopher would be taking place so soon.

"Rory's life is your life," Luke pointed out. "You said it yourself; you can't just avoid him forever. It's both of you or neither of you."

Tears fill Lorelai's eyes again. "Don't say it like that."

Luke stands up and starts pacing once more, not wanting her to start crying again. "I don't understand why you can't just walk away from him. It's not for Rory, you know it's not. He's never been there for her and he doesn't deserve to be now."

"I don't know why, either," Lorelai whispers, her head now in her hands.

Luke pulls her up to him and hugs her tightly. "It's okay," he soothes.

"It's not okay, Luke, look at me!" She pulls away from him slightly, forcing him to contemplate her face. "I'm a mess, I'm pathetic…,"

"No you're not-," Luke begins, but it's a feeble attempt and she quickly cuts him off.

"I hate him, I want him gone! I can admit it to you!" He feels her trying to get out of his embrace, but realizing this just makes him hold her tighter.

"Lorelai, it's okay!"

"It's not!" She exclaims, almost violently trying to get away from him now. "I'm not me anymore, Luke! This…thing comes out into the open after almost _20 years _and suddenly I'm this weak, crying, falling apart-,"

"Stop it," Luke interjects.

"I'm not the same person that you fell in love with," Lorelai whispers. "And you know it."

Luke takes her face in his hands and looks her in the eye. "Lorelai, when bad things happen, people change. They become stronger. They have to."

She shakes her head, avoiding his eyes again. "But I'm not-,"

"But you will be," He assures her.

"You think so?" She asks doubtfully.

He kisses her forehead. "Of course I do."

Lorelai lets him hold her for a moment, regains her composure, and then smiles at him. "Okay then, let's go," she says, taking his hand, leading him back to the living room, where she is going to tell Christopher off once and for all.

**  
THE END  
**


End file.
